She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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