I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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