Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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