The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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