I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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