i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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