i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Is it penis luge time yet?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
