I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
time to smoke my breakfast
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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