I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
