this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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