You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
