So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she peed on how many people?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
