she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He shit in the fireplace
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
