last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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