butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You can't special order awesome
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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