I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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