OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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