I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
