I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
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when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
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I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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