I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Damn victory sex feels great
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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