i don't like sucking hair
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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