No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
