btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
ttyl tear gas
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
