This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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