i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
