love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
