Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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