You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize