Swine flu. Run for my life!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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