hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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