i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
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My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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