did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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