We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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