I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
