About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm passing your future prison.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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