Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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