theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
