I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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