i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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