Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
