i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
