HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
