Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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