For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
