Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
