I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
