drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
