he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
