Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And then my night got REAL pukey
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
