So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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