"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
