i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i think i have two assholes
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
