Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
