I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
