Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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