summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
soo... how was my night?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
