I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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